Captain’s Logs – Stardate 30,98.99: Surviving Alone on a Strange Planet and Discovering Mysterious Markings

Captain’s Logs – Stardate 30,98.99

I have been alone in this strange place for what seems an eon now — however, a cursory observation of the current date, and time, indicates that its merely been; sixteen-hours, forty-six minutes, and twelve seconds… time is a masterful illusionist.

This planet appears to be inhabited by four ravenous creatures; two of them being akin to our earth canine — they are so far friendly, and also enjoy belly rubs…

The other two creatures are portly in nature, and emit a loathsome “meow” that condemns any who hear it to wince and recoil.

I have come across some strange markings etched to a scroll. It reads as follows:

“Hey, hun.

Just follow the directions and you should be fine — I’ll be home on Sunday ❤️ 💋


1. Cook the meat: Cook the ground meat in a skillet until browned and crumbly. Add the onion and continue cooking until it’s translucent. Add half of the parsley, garlic, basil, 1.5 teaspoons of salt, oregano, and sugar.

2. Cook the noodles: Boil the lasagna noodles in lightly salted water until they’re al dente…”

I have no idea what any of this means, but I am starting to get hungry…so I will likely have to venture to the outside, braving the UV rays, and hopefully there will be some take-out places growing in the wild.

That is all for now. I must continue to explore these oddly familiar quarters in utter solitude. Wish me luck.

Captain I.M. Hopeless, Out.

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