There is a profound sadness that lingers deep inside of me. It has always been there, I think. Its potency was however fostered by the tableau of traumas experienced within my chosen career paths. It is a sadness that seeps into my bones like moisture to dirt. Only it is not flowers that grow from... Continue Reading →
With the first day of summer ever looming overhead, what should be a jubilant anticipation is instead replaced by a burning thorn of remembrance. It was after all, summer, when I met him for the first and only time. And when I met him, I worked him… and after I worked him, I, along with... Continue Reading →
I was seventeen when I first watched a man die. I did not know that he was dying at the time, but, ultimately that moment when I stood beside him at the edge of his bed, it would be the last time that I would see him alive. An ambulance would arrive, and the paramedics... Continue Reading →
For those whom know me or feel as though they do through the written wounds within this blog, you will know that rain is my ally. The euphonious sounds of falling sky bring respite to my aching mind. It helps me bring peace to an otherwise war-torn soul. So, tonight when I began to fall... Continue Reading →
Last Sunday, I decided to put the bottle down. I have been sober ever since. It’s only been a number of days, sure. But that is no easy task for a man who both loves the taste as well as its medicinal effect against the wounds that others cannot see. Not surprisingly, it’s been a... Continue Reading →
“Matty? Matty, what is it? Oh my God, what’s wrong?” … Her mollifying voice glanced off my shoulders from behind before entering my ears. It was the middle of the night and prior to my current situation of being seated on the edge of our bed, we had been sleeping blissfully intervolved with one-another.... Continue Reading →
I stood quietly outside before knocking on the door. It was cold and dark. Winter was in full swing and each exhaled breath was a reminder of that. I was alone. Dressed in paramedic blue. My feet planted awkwardly outside of a friend’s house. Refusing to move. My shift had ended shortly before this point,... Continue Reading →
I am currently sitting in a Starbucks, arbitrarily sipping on an overpriced beverage, listening to the soothing sounds of whatever jazz station they have playing over the radio and I can’t help but think to myself “what am I doing here – I don’t belong here”. I say this to myself likely because for many,... Continue Reading →
Beneath my eyes there are bags. Within those bags, a collection of awful things once seen. Terrible things. The things people like to pretend don't exist. They pretend it doesn’t exist and yet, they lock their door at night anyway – just in case. Because the reality is, it does... For a number of years,... Continue Reading →
I am awake again, deep into the night. I have barely slept. If at all. I did not wake from a nightmare but, I awoke with a memory. A memory that the aching in my stomach remembers well. It was from a time in my childhood or rather, adolescence, when my mother refused to allow... Continue Reading →
